Your Pacific Northwest Kit.
Explore shirts, hoodies, drinkware & gear for guys who hike the trails, haunt the dive bars, and chase Olympic Peninsula lore.
Channel the Olympic Peninsula’s most famous conspiracy theories in these 2.5" performance shorts, featuring a playful extraterrestrial peeking through ferns, mushrooms, and rocks. Perfect for runners who check over their shoulder, swimmers who suspect lake-bottom UFOs, and gym-goers who know the truth is out there (and possibly spotting them on the elliptical).
Built for Suspiciously Good Performance
91% recycled polyester/9% spandex moves like you’re being chased (four-way stretch for sudden evasive maneuvers)
UPF 50+ fabric blocks rays—sunlight and possibly other kinds
2.5" inseam keeps you cool during both cardio and crisis moments
Alien-Grade Features
Moisture-wicking fabric handles sweat, lake water, and nervous perspiration equally well
Mesh side pockets secure your keys (and tin foil hat, folded discreetly)
Globally sourced because extraterrestrial encounters happen everywhere
Size guide
| WAIST (inches) | HIPS (inches) | |
| XS | 29 ⅞ | 37 |
| S | 31 ½ | 38 ⅝ |
| M | 33 ⅛ | 40 ⅛ |
| L | 36 ¼ | 43 ¼ |
| XL | 39 ⅜ | 46 ½ |
| 2XL | 42 ½ | 49 ⅝ |
| 3XL | 45 ⅝ | 52 ¾ |
Our Satisfaction Guarantee: We are a small business that uses an on demand fulfillment method. This means we don’t hold any inventory and only have an item produced when you order it. We do this to keep our costs low, and quality high – that way we can offer you amazing items at the lowest possible price.
Because of this – we offer a 100% guarantee your item will arrive in perfect condition as you ordered. If it doesn’t, we’ll offer a replacement or a refund.
Because we are a made to order business, replacements and refunds are only accepted in the above situations. We partner with the best fulfillment partners and take care to ensure you’ll love all our items, and we thank you for your support! Please see our Refund Policy for more information.
Order Fulfillment and Shipping Timing: Items are produced as soon as possible after ordering (generally within a few days and rarely longer than 12 business days) and then shipped. Shipping duration is generally no longer than 5 business days and depends on your location and where the item is produced.
Explore shirts, hoodies, drinkware & gear for guys who hike the trails, haunt the dive bars, and chase Olympic Peninsula lore.